For my first 12 years of life, I grew up with a dad who was often out of town and scary to be around when he was home. When I was 12, my parents divorced and if I’m being honest, I felt relieved. Then when I was 13, my mom remarried and my stepdad wasn’t terrible, but didn’t love me the way he loved his own kids. I felt like an annoyance to him most of the time.
As an adult, I’ve passionately pursued a goal of breaking that cycle. Except for my faith in Jesus (but not separate from it), nothing in life is more important to me than striving to be a good husband and a good father. I’m far from perfect, but thanks to God I’m still here for my wife and my kids, and I plan to keep it that way. And yet I’m mindful of so many people who don’t experience this blessing, especially the kids who have no choice in the matter.
A little over four years ago, the National Fatherhood Initiative posted an article entitled, “The Father Absence Crisis in America.” The article begins by explaining that according to the U.S. Census Bureau, 24 million children in America—one out of three—live without their biological dad in the home. It goes on to share some consequences for children in father-absent homes. They are:
- 2 times more likely to die as infants;
- 4 times more likely to be poor;
- Likely to show higher levels of aggressive behavior;
- More likely to suffer emotional and behavioral problems;
- More likely to face abuse or neglect;
- More likely to abuse drugs / alcohol and more at risk of substance abuse;
- More likely to commit a crime;
- Twice as likely to be involved in early sexual activity;
- 7 times more likely to become pregnant as a teen.
The article then challenges America as a nation to begin to raise more involved, responsible, and committed fathers. This is certainly a worthwhile goal, but it’s not likely to happen unless dads get to know their real Dad. The Bible tells us that God is our Father, that we are His sons and daughters, that He’s a Father to the fatherless, and that He’s the Father from whom every family derives its name.
When earthly dads know their heavenly Father, they start treating their kids like God wants them to be treated. They break the cycle and give their kids a much better chance to avoid the aforementioned consequences of father-absent homes. More importantly, they teach their kids to know God, to love God, and to obey God. Can you imagine what America might look like if its homes were filled with these kinds of dads? What a gift we would receive if father-absent homes became father-present homes. Would you join me in praying for this type of turnaround? Will you ask God to “turn the hearts of the parents to their children, and the hearts of the children to their parents” (Malachi 4:6a)?
Troy Burns