Just for a moment I was back at school
And felt that old familiar pain
And, as I turned to make my way back home
The snow turned into rain
“Same Old Lang Syne” – Dan Fogelberg
Some memories cause pain due to the terrible things remembered; others hurt deeply, not because of the memories themselves (of things that were wonderful at the time), but because they will never happen again. For example, my memory of playing baseball with my young son causes me pain not because I didn’t love playing ball with him (I certainly did), but because he’s grown up and those times are lost and gone forever.
With one child graduating from college in a few months, and another one beginning her university adventure in a few weeks, I’ve come to realize (if not accept) that parenting involves loss. Some things are lost and gone forever. The adult child-parent relationship is incredible in many ways, but there’s also a loss of what I once had, making it clear that life will never be the same again. For all of the many struggles and challenges of raising kids, my toughest dad moment was undoubtedly walking out of my son’s dorm room in Phoenix after moving him in to start his first experience away from home. I literally walked from one life to another, knowing I would never pass that way again.
Since I’m writing this blog for our church website, I need to find some spiritual insight from all of this reminiscing and grieving over things that are no more. Maybe it’s this: as followers of Jesus, we can look forward to the time when we will live forever in a new heaven and a new earth, where God “will wipe every tear from [our] eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away” (Revelation 21:4). When I think about my kids, especially in their younger years, I’m pained by the things that are lost, that have passed away. But if there’s one thing I don’t mind passing away, it’s “the old order of things.” When that day comes, I’ll have nothing to mourn, no pain to feel, and no tears to shed. Knowing this paradise with God is promised, I have to believe that a day is coming when my painful memories will never hurt me again.
Troy Burns