I’ve written previously concerning the challenges and struggles I endure as the sole male member of a household filled with lovely, beautiful, emotional ladies. Have I mentioned how much I love them?! I really do, even when their emotions evoke strong feelings of my own: stress, anxiety, fear, despair, etc. And hopefully we all know that emotions are neither good nor bad, they just are. “Jesus wept” for goodness sake (John 11:35). The Bible tells us there is a time for everything, “a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance” (Ecclesiastes 3:4). Hey, I’ve seen my oldest daughter do all of these things within about 60 seconds! Did I mention how much I love my girls?
Emotions just are, and they are in essence neutral. But they can lead us to do or say good or bad things. As just one example, I think of Paul’s words in Ephesians 4:26-27, 26 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold.” Paul doesn’t say that anger is a sin; rather, he says in your anger, do not sin. This truth is also reflected in the words of James, who reminds us, “human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires” (James 1:20).
What it all boils down to is this: we must grow in managing and controlling our emotions rather than allowing our emotions to manage or control us. As someone has said, allowing our emotions to control us is not godly, but neither is denying or vilifying our emotions. We should thank God for our ability to feel emotion and we should steward our emotions as a gift from God. We manage our emotions by growing in our walk with God, as we are transformed by the renewing of [our] mind” (Romans 12:2).
If I can support and assist my girls in this endeavor, then I can endure my “lone male” struggles with much more grace and success. I can feel things with them, even if they scare me, and I can help them lead their emotions instead of letting their emotions lead them. Have I mentioned how much I love my girls? Because I do, no matter if they’re laughing, crying, screaming, shouting, whispering, or even just sitting there calmly and quietly, which may be the scariest thing of all. But I’ll be there for the long haul, because that’s my job and I wouldn’t trade a minute of it for anything else in this world.
Troy Burns