You can sum up our holiday season in one word: “Family,” or, perhaps, five words: “Our whole family together again.” After 18 years as an in-the-house-every-day member of the Burns clan, our oldest child, our only son, left the nest and started learning to fly at his university in Arizona. Letting him go was a grieving process for us and a rather joyful experience for him. As I said about parenting in a sermon earlier this year, “One of your greatest accomplishments is for your kids not to need you anymore. And one of the saddest, most difficult times in life is when your kids do not need you anymore!
But our son did come home for a long visit during his winter break from college. And one of my new “favorite moments ever” is having our entire family reunited in our home during the Christmas and New Year’s holiday season. It’s not the exact same situation, but some thoughts from Kami Gilmour, in her book, Release My Grip: Hope for a Parent’s Heart as Kids Leave the Nest and Learn to Fly, really hit home with me. She shares about the rare opportunity she had to embrace the sacred timing of all five of her kids, from different parts of the country, coming home for a weekend together.
She writes: “For 24 hours my nest would be full—all of the kids under one roof…. I knew I’d sleep well with the peace and completeness of everyone at home.” As they all enjoyed some wonderful time together, she continues with this: “I was in awe of these amazing humans, so full of life and dreams and new beginnings. And I was in awe that God had given me the privilege of being their mother. I’d released my grip, but my kids weren’t gone forever. This was a new season of parenthood with a new normal that consisted of a steady rhythm of coming and going, of saying “goodbye” and “welcome home” again and again. Nothing could separate them from my love or the love and presence of God. He still held them in the palm of His hand even though they’d let go of mine.”
Our son will return home in late April for his extended break between school years. We are so proud of him and so excited to see him thrive in his new young adult life, but we also miss him dearly and long for the next time we’re all together again. We don’t just love him, we like him. We truly enjoy his company and we treasure the adult relationship we are building with him. So, with even more zeal than I had as a child, I want to scream, “I can’t wait for summer!”
Troy Burns